Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Frustrated

Ok... I admit it... you caught me...
I may have given in a little bit... 
But I promise it's the last time until Saturday!

I'm supposed to be enjoying my rest week, but the stagnation of not doing any exercise is killing me. So, I met my friend Tina at the gym this morning and did an hour walk on the treadmill. I kept the pace real low so I didn't over exert my legs, but it felt so nice to be doing something.


This leads me to my emotion of the day:

Frustrated [fruhs-trey-tid] adjective:
1. having feelings of dissatisfaction or lack of fulfillment

My frustration is with more than just the lack of exercise. Part of me feels like I didn't train hard enough or well enough. It's not something that I can't go back and change, I mean, I can't fix all of the random things that got in the way of my runs. And I know it's my first half marathon and that I've only been running for a year, but I was hoping I would be slightly faster or that my endurance would have increased more. (In retrospect though, considering I couldn't run more than 0.25miles before stopping before, my endurance has increased a lot- but I'm still averaging a 15min/mile at my best.

These are normal concerns right? I'm not just losing my mind or over-worrying am I? I'm trying to maintain my positive feelings, but I felt I wouldn't be being honest if I didn't include this emotion today as it is VERY much present in my mind. 
On a happier note, my Sparkle Skirt from Amy @Pumpkin to Princess came in today!! Expect photos soon!

7 comments:

Falon said...

Oh sistah... you're freak out is sooooo painfully normal. I had the same one last wednesday before my marathon and guess what... I finished it. As fast as I wanted? Now, but a debut doesn't really count for speed anyway. Don't let taper madness take over your brain! You are ready!

Melissa C said...

This is totally normal. Don't stress. You have to trust your training. Yes, I wished I had done more too, but at this point, there isn't anything to do about it except rest, eat well, and trust your training. I feel like you are in my head too. I am stressing over stupid stuff too, like is the car going to break down on the way, will my sick son get me sick, should I gear check my phone, and the list goes on and on. BTW, I am probably not going to gear check my phone, but since I need a new one anyway, I am toying with it. I am running 2 miles tomorrow, and then NOTHING until race day. I can't wait. Good luck!

Wells L said...

Ditto - NORMAL! You've got this. You're going to be great!

Wym said...

Just eat, poop, and get ready to run girl! Its about the experience!

Samantha said...

I have been reading your blog for a few months now for two reasons 1. I was looking for an inspirational running blog as I am a "runner" 2. I am also a bigger girl.

When I started running 3.5 years ago my one goal was to run a 5k. People said I couldn't do it and I did and I lost 60lbs in doing so. I attribute a lot of that to running and not eating at the dining hall at school. In the past 3 years I have completed grad school. I have and still do want to run a half but have ALWAYS had an excuse on why I don't have enough time to train for one.

Long comment shortened I applaud and commend you along with the inspiration you have given me that you started running a year a go and now running 13.1 miles! It truly astounds me. So BRAVO to you! You will run a bit faster on race day but remember you are still setting a personal record and that just means you have a new time to beat!

Good luck in the next few days and on your run! I'll be rooting for you!!

Kurt @ Becoming An Ironman said...

I agree with everyone here and especially love Wym's comment! haha

Totally normal. Race day adrenaline will kick in too and give you a boost. But for now, the biggest thing is to trust your training and just like it was said above, the first time for anything is more of the experience than the time. Go out, have fun, and finish!!

Also, any frustration with not training anymore - being in the taper - is totally a red flag for addiction. haha You're addicted to running and we love it. Welcome to the dark side!!

Fruit Fly said...

Totally normal! Probably not normal if you DIDN'T feel this way!