Frustrated

Ok... I admit it... you caught me...

I may have given in a little bit... 

But I promise it's the last time until Saturday!

I'm supposed to be enjoying my rest week, but the stagnation of not doing any exercise is killing me. So, I met my friend Tina at the gym this morning and did an hour walk on the treadmill. I kept the pace real low so I didn't over exert my legs, but it felt so nice to be doing something.

This leads me to my emotion of the day:

Frustrated [fruhs-trey-tid] adjective:

1. having feelings of dissatisfaction or lack of fulfillment

My frustration is with more than just the lack of exercise. Part of me feels like I didn't train hard enough or well enough. It's not something that I can't go back and change, I mean, I can't fix all of the random things that got in the way of my runs. And I know it's my first half marathon and that I've only been running for a year, but I was hoping I would be slightly faster or that my endurance would have increased more. (In retrospect though, considering I couldn't run more than 0.25miles before stopping before, my endurance has increased a lot- but I'm still averaging a 15min/mile at my best.) 

These are normal concerns right? I'm not just losing my mind or over-worrying am I? I'm trying to maintain my positive feelings, but I felt I wouldn't be being honest if I didn't include this emotion today as it is VERY much present in my mind. 

On a happier note, my Sparkle Skirt from Amy @Pumpkin to Princess came in today!! Expect photos soon!

Anticipation

Today's emotion of the day is Antici.....

...........pation!

(See what I did there? Made you anticipate the end of the word. Genius, right? Bonus points if you can catch the musical movie reference I stole that from)

Source

*Ahem*  Moving right along....

Anticipation [an-tis-uh-pey-shuhn]: Noun.  

1. Realization in advance; foretaste, 2. expectation or hope.

I am FULL of anticipation about this race. I keep wondering about weather conditions, the race course, the fans on the side, what the medal is going to look like, if I can keep up with one of the pace coaches or if I should just go my own, how my stomach is going to do, if I can make it up the hills, will I need a medic, will I be the last one to finish, can I actually DO this? Ahhh! So many things to think about! But, despite any negative thoughts that sometimes pop into my head, I also anticipate crossing the finish line and having an overwhelming sense of pride and accomplishment. My finish goal is 4 hours. I know a lot of people who finish in 3 hours or so... I don't care. I'm aiming for 4 hours. If it takes less time, power to me, but I want to set a reachable goal for myself. 

I'm also trying to decide if I should run with or without a watch on. Sometimes I feel like having the watch on is helpful because I can work a pace and time how long my walk/run breaks are, but then other times I feel like I'm utterly chained to my watch and timing myself. Double -edged sword I guess. Any thoughts on that? I know you're not supposed to change anything up for race day, but it's a thought I'm playing around with for right now. 

Going back to my emotion of the day- my feeling of anticipation seems to be a positive emotion as well. I picture myself crossing the finish line, and beating my 4 hour goal. I just have to hold onto this feeling and not let fear/doubt/anxiety creep in come race day.

Oh! And in answer to Kurt's question on my last post, yes, I will be running with music on. I will only have one headphone bud in, but I want to have my own music because I've learned what songs pump me up the most. Maybe in another year or so I can learn to run sans music, but for right now, I feel it's a good option for me.

Enthralled

I've decided that this week, I'm going to post about my emotions leading up to my first half.

I can assure you that various emotions are making their way through me right now, but I'm going to try and isolate one per day and see how they change as the half gets closer. (Don't worry, it's not going to be a complete vocabulary lesson- there's some actual substance to my posts, I promise!)

The first emotion I choose to acknowledge is: 

Enthral [en-thrawl]:  verb (used with object) 1. to captivate or charm.

Similar words: absorb, charm, enchant, engage, enslave, fascinate, hook, intrigue, preoccupy, spellbind

I am indeed enthralled, captivated, fascinated, intrigued and preoccupied by this race. And, as we can all well see from my blog, I'm completely absorbed with it also. I've been prepping and training for this race since the beginning of the year- it has literally taken over my life (which is awesome because when things are difficult for me to do, I usually end up giving up). I've worked very hard on increasing my endurance and making sure that I'm not going to completely maim or kill myself when I do walk/run the 13.1 miles. At looking at my Dailymile, I've run 232.14 miles since January 1st of this year. Considering I've NEVER run before in my life, I find that to be a stupendous achievement (and testament to how enthralled I actually have become with this sport). I've also worked hard on learning to enjoy my running. Yes, the distance will be long and the route will be grueling, but as long as I have some awesome music on and keep myself in a positive mindset, I know I can totally rock this race!

I've even become somewhat preoccupied with what I'm going to wear on race day. Taking it a little bit further, setting up a plan on what to eat/drink before I go, what time to wake up that morning so I can be warmed up when I get to the race, making sure I have everything I'm going to need for post-run recovery (protein, electrolytes, ice, an ambulance, margarita in an IV) has taken over a large portion of my waking thoughts.  But, none of this is in a bad way- I'm not resentful of these thoughts, they actually make me excitement level kick up a notch.

So, the first of my many emotions is a positive, energetic emotion. That's always nice to see, right? Let's hope it continues on that way. 

What are some emotions you felt/do feel leading up to a big race?