Frustrated

Ok... I admit it... you caught me...

I may have given in a little bit... 

But I promise it's the last time until Saturday!

I'm supposed to be enjoying my rest week, but the stagnation of not doing any exercise is killing me. So, I met my friend Tina at the gym this morning and did an hour walk on the treadmill. I kept the pace real low so I didn't over exert my legs, but it felt so nice to be doing something.

This leads me to my emotion of the day:

Frustrated [fruhs-trey-tid] adjective:

1. having feelings of dissatisfaction or lack of fulfillment

My frustration is with more than just the lack of exercise. Part of me feels like I didn't train hard enough or well enough. It's not something that I can't go back and change, I mean, I can't fix all of the random things that got in the way of my runs. And I know it's my first half marathon and that I've only been running for a year, but I was hoping I would be slightly faster or that my endurance would have increased more. (In retrospect though, considering I couldn't run more than 0.25miles before stopping before, my endurance has increased a lot- but I'm still averaging a 15min/mile at my best.) 

These are normal concerns right? I'm not just losing my mind or over-worrying am I? I'm trying to maintain my positive feelings, but I felt I wouldn't be being honest if I didn't include this emotion today as it is VERY much present in my mind. 

On a happier note, my Sparkle Skirt from Amy @Pumpkin to Princess came in today!! Expect photos soon!

FRUSTRATIONS!!

I'm getting frustrated with myself. 

I know I shouldn't be, but I am. 

I feel that I should be able to run for longer amounts of time than I actually am doing. Today I forced myself to run a mile straight. Granted, it was at a 13:15 pace, which is fast for me, but still. Even with forcing myself to run further, I still ended up having to walk at least .75 miles of my 2.6 run.

I am frustrated and disgusted and not sure of what to do to make myself run better.

I've done some tempos and I've done some hill work, I've even been good about my cross training, but nothing seems to be helping. I just feel like my endurance is getting worse and worse. Maybe I'm throwing too much at myself at one time? Maybe I should just simply go back to focusing on distance instead of trying to up my pace?

Ugh, I don't know anymore. Pace and speed work is an essential part of running, especially when you're running in a half marathon with a time limit. I WANT to cross that finish line BEFORE 3 hours is up. But right now, I think I'm doing more damage than good to my training. I need help, any kind of help.  

This sucks. 

And it's only day 3 of my official training. GAH! What am I going to do?