FRUSTRATIONS!!

I'm getting frustrated with myself. 

I know I shouldn't be, but I am. 

I feel that I should be able to run for longer amounts of time than I actually am doing. Today I forced myself to run a mile straight. Granted, it was at a 13:15 pace, which is fast for me, but still. Even with forcing myself to run further, I still ended up having to walk at least .75 miles of my 2.6 run.

I am frustrated and disgusted and not sure of what to do to make myself run better.

I've done some tempos and I've done some hill work, I've even been good about my cross training, but nothing seems to be helping. I just feel like my endurance is getting worse and worse. Maybe I'm throwing too much at myself at one time? Maybe I should just simply go back to focusing on distance instead of trying to up my pace?

Ugh, I don't know anymore. Pace and speed work is an essential part of running, especially when you're running in a half marathon with a time limit. I WANT to cross that finish line BEFORE 3 hours is up. But right now, I think I'm doing more damage than good to my training. I need help, any kind of help.  

This sucks. 

And it's only day 3 of my official training. GAH! What am I going to do?

Don't Rain on My Parade

Sorry for not updating last night. We had a winter wonderland of a storm hit during the show, so I stayed at a friends house. The same thing happened tonight, but it wasn't nearly as bad of a storm so I made my way home for the evening.

I will be honest, I'm probably not going to update my food and exercise for the past two days:
1. because most everything is essentially the same.... at least exercise-wise and
2. because I feel like crap and am in a rotten and foul mood.

So, I apologize in advance for my ranting and lack of happiness and sun-shiny brightness. As soon as I return to a healthy physical state, I'm sure my mood will lift as well.

I am angry. Not just because I'm sick and feel awful, but because in being sick I couldn't finish my 5 miles for the week and Lord only knows if I will be able to run any day soon. Also, I'm missing out on being able to bond with my cast mates. Everyone went out tonight for a cast members birthday and I had to scuttle home and hide in quarantine. Granted, this was my own decision and I probably wouldn't change it, I don't want to give people what I've got because it is not fun. Besides passing along my plague (as we can all plainly see) when I'm sick, I'm rotten and mean and have a very short fuse. No one deserves that kind of personality to be around on their birthday... or even just in general. It has nothing to do with my friends, family, or anything besides me. I'm just mad at myself for getting sick and having to be in quarantine. Sounds crazy... probably is. Don't care.

I'm not going to harp on "oh woe is me" because no one wants to hear that shit and as I said before, this is of my own choosing. just wanted to clarify why I will not be doing my usual update tonight.
For now, I've taken multiple cough meds, a flu med and an Advil PM. I have Halls and Vicks by my side should I happen to wake up out of the medically-induced coma I'm about to embark on. See you all in a few days hopefully.

P.S. I wonder how many calories are in the medicines I just took. Will find out late. Peace!