ING... B-I-N-G-O!

It's Official- I am registered for my 2nd Half Marathon in October.

HOORAY!!

I just sent in my payment and have 66 days to finish my training before I tackle the ING Hartford Half again. I'm actually very excited! I had a blast running the course last year and am very much looking forward to doing so again. I only hope the day will be as gorgeous out as last year.

Today is another long day at work. However, I intend on going to bed as soon as I get home so I can get up and put in some miles tomorrow. My back up plan is to run after work (in case I hit snooze sleep through my alarm clock again). I'm currently about 2 weeks behind on my training, which is okay because I had originally added in 3 extra weeks, just in case. However, I've decided I'm going to increase my short runs to be 3 miles, instead of 2 for twice a week, on top of my long runs. The only thing I'm worried about, with this upcoming race, is that I won't be ready. And, I know, I need to push those thoughts right out of my head otherwise I'm going to self-sabotage.

To keep myself sane, I'm carrying Kara Goucher's book around with me. That way, when I feel the negative thoughts creeping in, I can crack the book open and get some motivation! (It works, I swear!)

On another note, I'm not sure how many of you read my last blog post, but I am doing a "Mystery Loot Give Away". My boyfriend and I are raising money for the Muscular Distrophy Association, and I'm turning to all you lovely people to help us out. For every $10 you donate, you will get an entry into the give away!

Now, you may be asking yourself, "But, Cupcake, why would I donate if I don't know what I might win?"
And to that I would kindly answer, "Because you're such a wonderful, amazing person that it doesn't matter what you might win. You just know that your donation is going on to help millions of people who suffer because of MD." Then, knowing you would probably want a little bit more information, I would continue, "I can't tell you exactly what your prize is- just know it's going to be pretty awesome! There's some pampering stuff, something worth money, and maybe even something for your feet!"

So, once again, I get down on my knees and humbly ask all of you lovely blog followers to please reach down into your pocket/purse/wallet/manbag/backpack/fannypack/Spibelt/piggy bank and please DONATE to a GREAT cause!

I promise, it will be worth your while! 



Thank You, Kara Goucher

I ran yesterday. And, boy, did it feel nice. I went out and did a nice, easy run of 2 miles. Took a slow pace for most of it. The only exceptions were when I pushed my pace up the two hills on my route, and then when I sprinted the ends of each mile. I was pouring sweat when I was done, but it felt great! And, I finished under 30minutes. Woohoo!

I've been lacking motivation again lately (surprised? I didn't think so.) It's so hard for me to get back into a routine when work is killing all of my energy. I work with kids all day, every day. I love it, but it is EXHAUSTING. Being high-energy all the time is great- it's almost like a workout in itself, but by the time I get home, I want to curl up in bed and just sleep. It's also hard to wake myself up early to try and run, but this is nothing new. I'm just not a morning person and I'm okay with that.

I was talking with my boyfriend the other night about how I feel I have been slacking WAY too much for my upcoming race in October and how I'm considering not doing it and just using the extra time to prep for the Disney Princess race in February. I hate that I even thought that- it makes me feel like such a quitter. Ugh! Anyway, my boyfriend told me not to give up just yet. He said to wipe the slate clean, get back on the wagon, and see how I do over the next few weeks. If, by the time I hit September, I'm not feeling ready, then to wait till February. But, if I work through my road blocks and get back in the game, he would be there to cheer me on (for both races).

So, I pulled out a book I had almost forgotten I'd bought- Kara Goucher's Book: Running for Women.

source

I cracked it open and started reading. I eventually got to the pages where she talks about her set backs and how she sometimes has periods where she has a hard time doing her trainings. Then, she put in a great list of suggestions to help make training a little less cumbersome. One thing she suggested was to change wording- instead of saying "I'm going to do 4 run days this week,", change it to "I'm giving myself 3 rest days this week,". She said it's almost like reverse psychology. I'm going to start trying that possibly. If not aloud, then at least in my own head.

Another thing she suggested was mixing up your training a bit (especially when you find it hard to stick to a particular schedule). For instance, I know I have to do 3 runs and a cross training/walking day. However, instead of making it every Tuesday is a short run, every Thursday is a tempo, etc, to try and mix it up as it fits into my week. That way you don't stress as much or get so down on yourself if something unexpected happens on Tuesday and you can't make a run.

One last thing she advises is to give yourself a break! (Seriously!) If you are scheduled to do an 8 mile run, but you feel you can't do it- just go out for a one mile run. First off, one mile is better than no miles, and , secondly, once you are out and running the chances are you will start to feel better and extend your run a bit on your own.

I've only read like 5 chapters in the book, but it made me feel so much better about my training road blocks. Just knowing that Kara Goucher hits some hurdles herself makes me feel that what I'm going through is perfectly normal. And that's comforting. It makes me think that maybe I can get back on the bandwagon and do ING Hartford in October afterall. 

Where, Oh Where, Has My Motivation Gone?

I'm depressed.

That about sums up the past few days of my life. I have no real reason to be depressed- my boyfriend is amazing and probably the sweetest guy on the planet, my job is time-consuming but fulfilling and fun, my family and friends are all healthy, finances are starting to straighten out... so, why am I depressed?

Because, despite all these other wonderful things, I've lost my motivation to do anything.
I've kept up with my bikini body boot camps, but I haven't done any other workouts. LAME.
I go to bed every night and think "tomorrow I'm going to get up and run", I even set my alarm and lay out my clothes. But, when that buzzer goes off, I reset my alarm and go back to bed. I can't seem to drag myself up and out. Not even down to the living room to do a quick workout video or anything. Ugh! I'm so frustrated with myself, I could seriously spit!

I keep giving myself little goals:

Run 50 miles and I will treat myself to a full body massage.
Get under 200 and I can have a shoe shopping spree.
Run any distance today and have an ice cream.

But, nothing seems to do the trick. I even keep trying to visualize different things to get myself going:

Being skinnier for my 10 year high school reunion.
Being a size 14 for 2013.
Losing another 10 pounds for summer.

Nothing. It's as if my brain gets what I'm telling it but my body refuses to take the message.
*sigh* I don't know. I'm at a loss. I was excited a bit yesterday because I bought something in a size 14/16 and it felt a little lose, but then some of my old clothes don't seem any bigger on me. And this morning I hopped on my boyfriend's scale. It said I had gained 15 pounds. I burst into tears. He tried to console me and tell me that the leg on one of the sides is broken so the numbers are wrong, but I know it's a lie. How did I gain 15 pounds in 2 weeks?! It's not like I've been stagnant- I'm still always up and about with work and rehearsals. I haven't even been eating as much because I don't always have the time to eat. Maybe that's part of the problem- maybe my wacky eating habits are killing me.

Either way, I just feel as if I worked so hard to get down to 207 and now this. I'm taking gigantic steps backwards and I don't know what to do. Even now, I just want to cry. I want to go to the gym while I'm still angry at myself but I'm literally working/rehearsing until goodness knows when tonight. And I want to wake up early tomorrow for a run before work, but I know I'm going to be exhausted.

Please help.  

Anyone Want Some Cookies?

There really isn't an excuse for my behavior. There never is.

It's just life and lack of time-management skills that prevents me from updating my blog. Too bad I can't update it telepathically because, if that was the case, I would have already posted at least 5 updates by now. That's right, sometimes I start blog entries in my head, but never get a chance to actually sit down and type them out.

Anyway, part of my current disappearing act was that it is GIRL SCOUT cookie time! Hooray!
No, I did not dive head first into a box of Tagalongs... though I very much would like to do so. I actually work for the organization and have been relentlessly doing programming with my girls and collecting their cookie sale info. This week, the boxes come in and I get to run delivery nights for 3 different towns to come and get their boxes. Woot! It's fun, but it makes for some very long days and very little free time.

On top of that, I'm currently on the tail end of a double ear infection and monster sinus infection. I mean, MONSTER. To the point where, everything was so compacted in my head that my face was swollen and it hurt to touch. Youch! However, I'm almost done with my meds and I am feeling better. I'd say I'm now, finally, at about 85%. So, even though I have my first 5k of the year this Saturday, I haven't run in two weeks. Ugh! I am planning on going to the gym tonight though. I get out of work late, so on my way home, I'm going to hit the gym and do a quick 1-2 miles. I'm not going to push myself, just want to make sure my lungs/sinuses can handle it. I think they can, but we shall see!

Today, I posted on my facebook how I need some serious motivation and people to keep on top of me. I'm still battling the same 10lbs and I'm just tired of it. I want them gone and done with. It's been almost 6 months and I'm stuck on this horrid weight plateau! GO AWAY 10lbs!!! I'm so close and there's no excuse as to why I haven't dropped them yet, other than sheer laziness and lack of dietary discipline. I'm kind of fed up with myself, to be completely honest. I feel like I'm letting myself down and it makes me angry.

So, now I'm trying to pump up my determination and motivation to get back on track.
I'm giving myself bribes, which do you think will be the best?

If I drop these 10lbs, I can:

-buy a new pair of shoes
-treat myself to a day at the beach
-throw myself a party
-get myself a really nice mani/pedi

As much as I would like to treat myself to all of the above, I feel that that just isn't doable.
So, I'm polling all of you lovely readers to help me decide which would be the best Goal-Getter option.

Let me know in a comment!

FRUSTRATIONS!!

I'm getting frustrated with myself. 

I know I shouldn't be, but I am. 

I feel that I should be able to run for longer amounts of time than I actually am doing. Today I forced myself to run a mile straight. Granted, it was at a 13:15 pace, which is fast for me, but still. Even with forcing myself to run further, I still ended up having to walk at least .75 miles of my 2.6 run.

I am frustrated and disgusted and not sure of what to do to make myself run better.

I've done some tempos and I've done some hill work, I've even been good about my cross training, but nothing seems to be helping. I just feel like my endurance is getting worse and worse. Maybe I'm throwing too much at myself at one time? Maybe I should just simply go back to focusing on distance instead of trying to up my pace?

Ugh, I don't know anymore. Pace and speed work is an essential part of running, especially when you're running in a half marathon with a time limit. I WANT to cross that finish line BEFORE 3 hours is up. But right now, I think I'm doing more damage than good to my training. I need help, any kind of help.  

This sucks. 

And it's only day 3 of my official training. GAH! What am I going to do?